Progress, maybe

Dear wonderful people,

Hubby and I met with Isaac‘s psychologist today at the hospital. We had a good talk about what is happening there at the hospital and what to expect time wise. The tentative timeline right now is that Isaac will come home next Wednesday, Aug. 2. That would bring his stay to a total of 2 weeks. Of course, that is all just a guess. But it gives us some idea of what to expect. Before today, we had no idea whatsoever!

The criteria for coming home has less to do with getting “well” than it has to do with being “safe.” Once he is no longer dangerous to himself or others, he will be ready to leave, even though we obviously have a very long road ahead of us.

Among the many interesting things we discussed with the psychologist, we talked about whether or not Isaac even wants to get well from his psychosis. The hallucinations he sees and hears are very mean to him. They bully him and force him to do awful things and yell really bad words at him, etc. He spends all day, every day fighting with them.

And yet… he misses them when they’re gone.

At the end of our meeting, Isaac was brought in to join us. As if on cue, the first thing he did was talk about how much he misses Gettany (she is an unreal person who lives in a window in our house and she is terribly mean. She doesn’t leave our house, so she’s not with him when he’s not at home). He drew a picture of her for the psychologist and said, “Sometimes Gettany is mean to me, but she loves me very much! I miss her!”

We also asked him about who (of his hallucinations) is there in the hospital with him. Herron, who I mentioned yesterday, is there. That’s not a a big surprise. But Isaac explained that there are people everywhere he looks. There were a whole ton of them in the little office we met in. When the doctor asked him if he wants to stop seeing and hearing all these unreal people, Isaac said that he is sick of Herron because he’s been following him around for so long, so he’d like to get rid of Herron. But he would actually like some of the others to stick around so he can get to know them a little better.

Sigh.

By the way, the names Herron and Gettany are weird, for sure. But, according to Isaac, these are the names they introduce themselves with. They also spell them for him so he can get them right. Almost all of the names of his hallucinations are weird like this. (It actually freaks us out a little more when they’re named normal things like Joseph or Elizabeth.) (For the record, there is a Joseph and an Elizabeth. Joseph is the toilet paper holder in the hallway bathroom and Elizabeth is a window in the front room.) (Both of them are horrible people. Except that neither of them are actually people…)

I went back later this evening to see Isaac–I decided that the first appointment didn’t really count as a visit, since it was very brief and done in the psychologist’s office. Isaac had had a bad day since I’d last seen him. He’d lost a lot of points for not following directions and he was really frustrated with himself and the people around him. He was also sad, because some of the kids he’s gotten to know there at the PPH are going home tomorrow. It had been a rough day.

We sat on his bed and played a game of Spot It. He beat me solidly (he always does). I started to shuffle the cards for a rematch and he told me that he didn’t want to play again and, in fact, could I please just go away. He was very calm and polite and I told him that yes, I would go away. He gave me a great big hug goodbye and I left. It was all very strange. But I was grateful that he was polite and also that he verbalized what he wanted.

So, maybe we’re making progress. Maybe we’re not. Maybe a little of both. Who knows? But even with his rough day, he was calm and verbal. That’s progress for sure. And we’ll celebrate any progress we can!

Xoxox

 

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