I want to start out by thanking you all for the many messages of love and support I received in response to yesterday’s email (and for the many other message I’ve received over this last week). I feel your love. I feel your light. I so wish I could respond to every one of your notes. I’m just not in a position to do that right now. But please know that I read every single word and they mean the world to me and my family.
Okay, back to Isaac. Bud and I went to visit him this morning. He was a bit off–stimmy (Tourette’s-y?) and distracted and pretty much uninterested in our presence. His disinterest is totally okay with us. Again, our purpose in visiting is just to make sure he knows we love him and we want to see him and we haven’t forgotten about him. We aren’t trying to force anything else.
As we visited, we discussed with Isaac some of the ideas we (the medical team and Hubby and I) have for him after he’s allowed to leave the hospital. The plan that everyone is leaning towards is “day treatment” which allows him to go to a hospital-style therapy and behavior management clinic during the day, but he comes home at night. This is also called “partial hospitalization.” Anyway, I explained all of this to Isaac, because I’ve tried to be as open and honest with him as possible through every step of this process. He wasn’t happy about it, but he couldn’t really pin down why (or couldn’t verbalize it, anyway). Our visit ended with him telling us that it was probably time for us to go, “and, by the way, I do NOT WANT TO GO TO DAY TREATMENT!!!”
As we were leaving, he ran after us to give us hugs and loves (after he’d already said a definitive goodbye, silly boy). The nurse in the hallway told him that it was good that he was being so sweet. “Lots of the kids here don’t get any visitors at all, so you need to be grateful for the people who come to visit you!” Well, I will come to visit Isaac whether he’s nice to me or not, but my heart broke a little bit to know that for some children, visitors are rare.
When I reported that conversation to Mads later today, she was very sad. Heartbroken that some children might feel like they’ve just been dumped there and forgotten. The children in this unit are between the ages of 5 and 12. So when she went to visit Isaac later tonight with Hubby and Bud, she asked the folks at the front desk what sorts of service she could provide. She is in her Mia Maids (church youth group) presidency and wondered if there was anything the youth could do to comfort the children whose families aren’t available for (or interested in) visiting. She learned that due to privacy situationsconcerns she and her friends can’t actually visit or play with other children. But, she also learned, many of these children arrive as foster kids or Child Services interventions or other unfortunate home situations. They arrive with no clothing of their own, let alone comfort items like blankies or plushies. And then no one ever visits to bring those items. The hospital then does their best to scrounge up scrubs–usually ill-fitting and awkward–so that at least they have something to put on their body.
But they are never comfortable. They are never comforted. They never fit in. They never have anything that is theirs.
So they told Mads that if she was interested in collecting clothing items and soft, safe toys like stuffed animals, she could submit a proposal for approval. Well, if you’ve ever met Mads, you know that within the hour she’d written up a formal proposal that she will submit tomorrow morning when she goes back to visit Isaac. Upon the PPH’s approval, I will pass along the information in one of my nightly updates (on her behalf) just in case any of you (especially you locals) are interested in donating any items. (This past week, I sent 8 full garbage bags of clothes that my children have outgrown to Deseret Industries. I so wish I had known that they might be better used elsewhere!)
Okay, well, so far, this Isaac update hasn’t really been about Isaac much. So let me finish by saying that after a rough morning and afternoon, he did manage to pull it together when Hubby, Mads, and Bud visited him tonight. They played Go Fish and Simon Says and rough housed a bunch and Isaac seemed very happy with all of that. There’s really no news on his medical situation–there was a blood draw yesterday that was supposed to give us some answers about how he was doing on one of the medications (they have to get the levels correct in his blood before they can move forward with other medications), but the lab had not gotten back to them yet. And now it’s the weekend, so chances are that we won’t hear anything until Monday. Sometimes that’s just how the cookie crumbles. In the meantime, we’ll just keep crossing our fingers!
Love to all,