Day Tripper

Dearests,

Well, I do apologize for my cliffhanger last night. It did not make me very popular! It was, alas, necessary, as I was equally cliff-hung myself. You see, yesterday evening I got a phone call from Isaac’s new day treatment/partial hospitalization facility, to say that our insurance had not yet approved this transfer. Oh, I wasn’t happy. PPH had sent him home, but Day Treatment (DT here on out) couldn’t take him yet. Ugh! While we were assured that our insurance would almost certainly approve it, they strongly suggested we wait until all of the t’s had been crossed and the i’s had been dotted.
Well, the approval did come in this morning, so they moved our intake meeting from its originally scheduled 9:00 a.m. to noon. Not nearly as scary as it could have been. No big deal at all, really. Ahhh, isn’t it awesome when things don’t turn out to be any big deal?
The intake meeting went really well. After dealing with administrators, the therapist we worked with closed the door, looked at the massive pile of paperwork that I mostly hadn’t even had a chance to fill out yet (having received literally 75 pages just an hour before…) and quietly informed me that she didn’t see any reason for me to finish filling it out, because she thought it was basically useless where Isaac was concerned.
Oh my gosh, I loved her already.
So she set the useless paperwork aside and we talked. And we talked and talked and talked. She took pages and pages of notes. She wasn’t condescending–she remarked several times that I clearly already knew the lingo and was already implementing (and had been for years) the things she would suggest to parents who were newer to all of this. She respected me as the expert on Isaac and was impressed with how much we’d already done on his behalf. Not in a flattering way, but in a way that showed she understood we weren’t novices. It was such relief to meet someone like this! On top of all of that, she seemed determined to be helpful. And I think if anyone can be helpful at this point, she’s the one.
While I was in with the doctor, talking-talking-talking, Isaac was off getting a tour of the facility and joining in with the various groups. A normal day at DT will go from 8:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Monday thru Friday. So basically the same as school. This is a bit less support than what I thought we were signing up for. I guess we’ll have to wait and see how this works out. I’ll leave it at that, because I’m trying to be optimistic…
Isaac had a great time at DT. He was excited to be there and seemed really happy. And then he came home and did pretty well at home too. He even got to go visit some people and had a great time. I would call it overall a good day.
Imagine our surprise, then, when this evening he suddenly melted into heartbreaking and unrelenting sobs. He garbled out something about hating DT and not ever wanting to go back. Well, I don’t think he hates DT. I saw him there and he was happy. Sometimes with Isaac, the emotional storm comes first and then he subconsciously searches for and comes up with the reason for the emotion after the emotion has already hit. So the reason he gives for the emotion often has nothing to do with the emotion at all. The emotion just happened all by itself. I don’t know if that makes any sense… Anyway, I suspect that this is what was happening tonight. But the sobbing. Oh, the sobbing. So gut-wrenching. He just started and couldn’t stop. It took a very long time to calm down and then it was time for bed (after a couple of rounds of Connect 4 with Nugget, of course).
I just wish I had a better idea of how to help him when these awful emotions crash all around him. He feels totally helpless and I feel totally helpless right alongside him. Poor little guy.
I really hope the meds he’s on (including the “mood stabilizer” which, uh, will hopefully stabilize his mood…) will help with this, because it doesn’t appear that anything else (therapy, dialogue, hugs, all the love in the world) can touch it.
But, again, if I had to classify the day, I would say that it has been a good one, despite the unfortunate ending. Plus, the facility he’ll be spending his days at seemed good and the doctor I spent the day with was great. Tomorrow will be his first real day there. Crossing our fingers that it meets his needs!
Love to all. xoxoxox

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